How to Talk to Yourself
By Amanda E. Lemmond
We learn how to speak at an early age, and as we grow older, we learn how to speak to different people in different tones of voice. Our mothers could quiet us with just one look. But here’s something we’re almost never taught: how to talk to ourselves.
And yet, we are the person we talk to the most.
Today, I want to talk about how speaking to yourself with the same respect you’d show your grandmother, and the same gentleness you’d offer a child, can transform your mental health and self-worth.
1. When You Make a Mistake
What’s the first thing you say to yourself when you mess up?
Is it something like:
“You’re so dumb.”
“You should have known better.”
“Everyone is going to think you’re an idiot.”
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone — but let’s be clear: that’s verbal abuse, even if it’s coming from yourself.
If a stranger walked up and said those things to you, would you tolerate it? Would you like them? Of course not.
So why is it okay when it comes from you?
Here’s a mindset shift:
Yes, you made a mistake — but you also learned something.
You are human, not a machine.
You can’t control what others think, and their opinions don’t define your worth.
Treat yourself with compassion. You’re doing the best you can.
2. When You Look in the Mirror
Let’s be honest: most of us do this. We look in the mirror and zoom in on what we don’t like.
“I’m so fat.”
“I’m so unattractive.”
“My eyes are uneven.”
“I look awful.”
Would you say those things to a child? I hope not. If you wouldn’t say it to someone else — especially a vulnerable version of yourself — don’t say it in your own mind either.
Try this: imagine your younger self looking back at you in that reflection.
Would you speak differently?
You deserve to speak kindly to the person in the mirror.
3. When Someone Doesn’t Like You
It’s normal to want to be liked. Truly, it is.
But it’s not logical to expect everyone to like you.
And that’s okay.
You don’t need universal approval.
The only person you really need to get along with — is you.
Let that sink in: You are stuck with yourself for life. You might as well make peace with the person you are and start treating yourself like someone you love.
4. You Are Not Your Thoughts
Thoughts are like internet search results — not all of them can be trusted.
The next time you hear that cruel voice in your head, pause and say to yourself:
“I am not my thoughts. Not everything I think is true.”
Your mind can lie. But your heart knows better. Choose to believe in your worth, even when your thoughts try to convince you otherwise.
A Challenge for the Week
I want to challenge you:
This week, when negative self-talk creeps in, don’t follow the usual script.
Instead of beating yourself up, try something new:
- Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to someone you love.
- Catch the cruel thoughts, and replace them with grace.
- Treat yourself like you matter — because you do.
You are more than a reflection in the mirror.
You are more than your worst moments.
You are valuable, worthy, and deserving of kindness — especially from yourself.
I would love to hear from you. Please interact with this post or feel free to email me !
📩 raineydayspass@gmail.com
Rainey Days Pass 
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