Taking Back the Wheel: Letting Go of What Others Think
Hello friends,
Let me ask you something: How much power do the thoughts of others have over you?
This is a question I’ve been asking myself lately. During a recent session with my therapist, I was venting about the anxiety I’ve felt surrounding my grandparents’ high expectations—particularly what they might think if I change academic directions. I also shared my frustration that my husband doesn’t seem to understand the pressure of making good grades in my pre-nursing program. His “C’s get degrees” attitude might work in business or other majors, but in nursing? Not so much.
As I rambled on, caught up in the whirlwind of being misunderstood and pressured, my therapist stopped me and asked:
“Does how people perceive your situation affect your success?”
“Can you control how they think about grades or achievements?”
I paused. Then I answered: “No, I can’t.”
That moment hit me hard—and it changed something in me. I realized I had been giving all my power away to the thoughts and opinions of others. Their judgments—real or imagined—were ruining my day. I wasn’t even in control of my own thoughts because I was so wrapped up in theirs.
But how do you break that cycle? How do you stop caring so much about what other people think? How do you get your power back?
1. Battle Phrases (a.k.a. Affirmations)
I like to call them battle phrases—short, empowering truths I repeat when I notice I’m slipping into people-pleasing or anxiety about how others see me.
- I can’t control what other people think.
- Everything someone thinks about me isn’t necessarily true.
- They have a right to think whatever they want about me.
- Not everyone is going to like me.
- Other people’s opinions don’t define who I am.
It’s human nature to want to be liked and to make others happy—but if pleasing others becomes your internal compass for how you live, speak, dress, or act, you will eventually feel lost. Worse, you may drift far from your true self. You might even miss out on your full potential because you were too busy trying to live someone else’s version of your life.
2. Ask Yourself the Hard Questions
When you’re about to make a decision or hesitate on a dream, ask:
- Am I doing this because I genuinely want to—or because I’m worried what others will think?
- Am I avoiding something out of fear of judgment?
- Is this decision coming from fear?
What are you holding back on right now just because you’re afraid of what people might say? If you removed the fear of other people’s thoughts, what would your life look like?
Would you start that business? Dye your hair purple? Take yourself out to that restaurant you’ve been dying to try?
Why are we handing over our power to something we can’t control—something as fickle as the opinions of others?
It’s time to step back into the driver’s seat. Clear the roadblocks of fear and judgment, and chart your own path. Choose your playlist, blast it loud, take detours, rest stops, and scenic routes when you need them. This is your life, your journey.
You are in control—not the thoughts or expectations of others.
And remember: it’s not a competition. We’re all just trying to make it through this world the best way we know how.
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Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
Have you ever caught yourself living for someone else’s approval? What helped you take your power back? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
If this post resonated with you, feel free to share it with a friend who might need the reminder that they’re in the driver’s seat, too.
✨ For more reflections on mental health, self-growth, and everyday resilience, check out more posts at http://www.raineydayspass.blog and subscribe so you don’t miss a thing!
Rainey Days Pass 
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